Allmogegarden i Tolarp

The summer feel exploded with barbecue outside, two times in one day!!! Now we just miss one thing to make it true summer:… Bengt in his man-kini!… but we must “wait little”.
Since we have only one cow milking, we had to think out of the box. So now we also milk trees. Three birch trees has delivered many liters of clear sweat juice full of vitamins, minerals etc. etc. There is no such thing that it cannot cure. Some even says that it gives wisdom and long age. So some were seduced to drink greedily directly from the tree and was therefore abandoned from paradise…



Speaking of God… Jehovas Witnesses drove by and tried to capture our lost souls, but none of us saw the light… we were to busy working. Or maybe the list of our sins was simply to long for Jehova? Who cares anyway.

A seemingly normal morning meeting suddenly turned into a history lesson about the farm, reaching more than 200 years back in time. And finally we saw a picture of the person who is suspected to be the farm ghost. Here he is (the bald man to the right):


Major events happened to all the animals of the farms.
The sheeps gave birth to little lambs. Brown, black and white. The horses has all been working plowing and raking the fields. La-Jacob has had his coming of age and moved outside with Laura and Max, and now he tries to prove himself by bullying innocent wwoofers. Anna-Mai is playing rude and acting as if she was a bull. Maybe she's the first transvestite cow?

Leffe was looking forward to a short sex-vacation away from his pregnant wife Doris, but things turned out badly. The confusion of being in a new place, with not only one but TWO young and fat ladies became too much, and he ended up hurting one of them, and was sent home directly. Poor Leffe…:( It must have been a misunderstanding, because we all know Leffe as a true gentleman. What a shame! But Leffe’s moral is strong. He trains now everyday on his favourite stone, to be in perfect shape when Doris returns home. That’s a real man…ehhh…Pig i mean.



The “Chicken Missions” was highlights in the previous weeks. In the dusk of night the chickens were kidnapped one by one, by the wwofers, blindfolded and moved to their new summer residens. They deserves sun and green grass as much as us. These were happy days in the hens flok.
But some days later four roosters where caught and beheaded, in what is now known as “the Bloodbath of Tolarp”.

The Chicken Mission Team. From left to right: 
(Back row) Iris, Dean, Djamilia aka Her Milk Majesty, Tessa, Erika, Helena, Tapani
(Front row) Angela, Luiza, Jordan, Bengt.
(behind the camera) the writer aka Rasse 

 

A miracle has happened in Tolarp: The cows have suddenly learned how to write!! They left this message in the barn:



And Jehova tells us that evolution is a myth. Here in Tolarp nothing is impossible. What will be the next? We could let Tammi write the blog:

Hey there, Tammi’s in da house.

Shout out to all dawgs out there.
I’m keep’n it cool ‘round here. Chill’n’ with ma new homeboy Zaza. Gnawing some pig feet. No big deal. Happy that i’m f’ck’n deaf with all these new wwoofers ‘round here. Christ sake…

well…I have to go bark at the cows.

Keep it real
xoxo Tammi-Dawg


And then a short chapter of “A Game of Thrones Dairy”:

The realm of Tolarp was about to explode under The Milk Majesty, but she cleverly avoided an uproar, by giving back minor rights to the common folks. An election about the use of a one-day ration of cream, was held to prove her good intentions, but still her power is supreme. She even tried to extend her supremacy by deciding the exact number of eggs that should be cooked every day. Once again the crowd turned against her in rage, but then fortunately the eggs ran out and things calmed down. Queen Maria has been her close support during the crisis, and some folks whispers of a secret alliance between the two of them. But which interests does Queen Maria have in the cream power? And what does her Milk Majesty gives in return for this support?

All this and much more in next chapter of “A Game of Dairy”! dadadadum!